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The casual hookups, the fun sex, the boys I’d never have another conversation with after I rolled out of their bed—these moments were over, as was my life.

Never again would anyone ever want to have sex with me, share a towel with me, go on a date with me, kiss me, love me.

I hung up, relieved that the conversation was over, but anxious about the ones to come: Please don’t tell that rude dude, but, Rookie readers, I will divulge the following to you: I had sex with three other people in the herpes danger zone, so I had three more calls to make from Club Herpes HQ (everywhere I go, technically).

But the main difference is that users need to put in what type of herpes they suffer from before they can sign up.“You fucking slut,” he said after I broke the news.Despite the fact that he had never gotten tested, he was that he had no STIs and, moreover, was convinced that I had given him not only herpes, but probably HIV, too.He was older than me and improbably, perfectly handsome in that 1980s-fraternity-movie way.He was hyper-intelligent…and rude: When he saw bicyclists, he would roll down the window of his Honda and yell, “Get a car! Sure, he was kind of an ass, but I didn’t really mind at the time, because OMG, SO HOT. Somehow, I managed to stammer out the necessary words on a long distance phone call.

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He did not respond to my voicemail, so I eventually texted him about my situation. You should get tested.” I thought that was pretty easy line of reasoning to follow. Dude #2: My best guy friend, with whom I had recently had mindless sexual escapades. We engaged in mindless small talk for a moment: “Heyyyy! “Hey Ihaveherpes, youshouldgogettested, youprobablydon’thaveitanyway, butyoushouldgogettestedbecauseuh OKyeah.” I stammered out out the relevant details of my situation: when I’d been diagnosed, and the fact that I wasn’t super-positive if it came from him. My friend proved this further by comforting me and telling me that it was going to be all right.

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